Socializing and exercise helps, who knew?

Hi all,
The last few days I have spent time with lots of friends and have worked out a lot. And guess what? I feel great! Who would have thought.

On Thursday, my chapter sister from my sorority Megan came into town, because her fiancé was here for a trip and they decided to make a trip out of it. I told her I'd text her when I was close, but since I was driving I used Siri. Good thing I glanced down before I sent it because this is what Siri thought I said:


Okay, I seriously don't remember what I even said! Obviously something like, "what hotel are you at". Psychokiller? Really Siri?? That's not even a word my computer recognizes right now - the red dotted line is under it!

I had a lot of fun with Megan and Stephan. We wandered around Bellagio and had a drink. The conservatory was decked out for Chinese New Year:


And here's a blurry one:


The next day I met them for lunch at the buffet at Caesar's. My dad loves buffets and would always drag us to them. Thank goodness that buffet in Las Vegas now means amazing gourmet food, in small frou frou portions! I love it!

Here we are very very full (and looking 12 and 14 years old respectively):


I rushed home and changed to meet my friend Stacy (yes the pastry chef who saves my baking) for a class at a studio called Eleve. It's a class where everyone has a mini trampoline, and it's a core/cardio/yoga type workout. I loved it! I should have taken a picture of it - if I go back I will. Stacy and I went to Dom Demarco's for dinner and shared a small white pizza. I was PLANNING on going home and studying for my master's, but Jaren texted me during dinner and said she and Roger had decided to take shots, and it felt wrong that I wasn't there. For a woman who doesn't drink often, I guess I just really love shots and my friends know!! Ha!

I wish I could just post the entire text conversation with Jaren because every word out of her mouth cracks me up. But I have a feeling it would upset her. So after dinner I drove over, and did NOT have a shot, but a baileys banana milkshake. It's SO easy - you just blend baileys with frozen bananas!

At around 11 Clara woke up and scared the crap out of me! She just all of a sudden appeared behind the railing upstairs.
She wouldn't cuddle with me and only wanted Jaren, what the heck Clara, I thought we had a thing going.


Today I met Haley at the Farmer's Market and walked around, where we ran into Stacy. It is gorgeous out today! So excited, spring is coming! Wow, I am using a lot of exclamation points, if I wasn't me I'd probably be judging me right now. I mean, I'd probably be judging me right now!!!!!!!

I went to the gym and did this elliptical workout:


Loved it! Definitely had an elevated heart rate.

After I came home and had a strawberry/spinach/mint smoothie, I decided to study at my parent's kitchen table and all of a sudden there's an Odge in my hood!


My dad has such a funny sense of humor. Of course then my mom made me wait like that until Lee was there as well:


Hehe, love my bubbas.

I am off to Nikki's house tonight for a much needed girls night. Happy Saturday and Shavua tov.

!!!!!

Today's a little better

Hi all,
Happy Valentine's Day!
I am not a big celebrator of this holiday - single or in a relationship. I never got sad that I was single on Valentines day for the few years I was, and I never hyped it up to any boyfriend or to Charlie (the only boyfriend that really matters!). Nevertheless, I want to write a post filled with Love today, since yesterday was filled with anger!

I am blessed and grateful for everything in my life, so here's a recap of the last few weeks!

Baking cookies a few weeks ago, I realized I didn't have enough butter at room temp. So I baked the first few batches with sticks of butter in my back pockets to soften it. Worked amazingly!


Katy came to help (my oh my how my Katy has been domesticated). She kept calling me butterbutt :-)

Love you Katy!





I made some yummy food and broke every rule of keeping kosher:


Now cover them with a brown sugar/butter mix, and tell me it's not amazing.
(thanks Haley for the recipe)

I helped find a tiny little puppy a forever home: 
Thanks Jodi for taking him in and doing all you do with animal rescue!

I tried to make a pbj cheesecake crescent roll something. It was okay.


Found some ancient cookie products from my mom's collections:


Haven't used it yet, not sure if it would even work!


Look how cute my mom is - she wrote her name on it in such a cute spot, love her.


I played with Raggedy Hannah and her boyfriend at Starbucks (Thanks Olivia!)


I babysat our good friends' son and played mama for a morning - what fun!

Maya liked being a big sister. His momma met up with us in the afternoon at McDonalds, and Maya waited outside like this the ENTIRE time:


I fantasized about soup and bread with Stacy:


And took a video message while driving to send to charlie on a day I felt pretty. I even put on lipstick!

Believe it or not, my hands were on the wheel and this was handsfree!

Usually when we Skype or FaceTime I am in pjs with no make up, I wanted him to remember he has a pretty wifey.


I spent some time with Jaren and her good friend Marlen - separate post for that coming.

And I ate at Rachel's Kitchen a few too many times!


This weekend I am going to try to go to a kickboxing class at a boxing gym with my friend Ali (who is something like 7-8 months pregnant and still doing it!). Maybe it will help the feelings from yesterday?

I also have two books to read - starting with The Round House. I haven't read in a while and am excited.

Sending love everyone's way!

Mad

My fellow military spouse, miscarriage survivor friend who I met when I lived in Raleigh, Brittany (who just started a blog), just told me the following advice on fb chat:

Do something you can go all out on

you may not be sad, honey

you might be pissed

Hmmmm. I knew talking to her would help. Brittany has a background in fitness and personal training, and does cross fit and is basically amazing. I told her that I've been feeling numb lately and I want to sob it out and I can't. She said to scream into a pillow, or go do something where I can 100% let go. Too bad I missed my kickboxing class this morning.

I didn't think about the emotions beyond sad. Maybe I am over being sad and now I am just MAD. Maybe getting mad will lead me to that sob fest I need? I learned in high school that "mad is not an emotion" and that it always masks something else, like fear, hurt, or frustration. But, I think right now, I need to just be mad and let whatever is underneath it boil to the surface that way.

Knowing me I will probably be like, super happy and enthusiastic for a week, sunshine and ponies, and then go bake something that backfires and scream at the oven. 

And since I don't want to have two completely depressing blog posts in a row with nothing else in them...

I did try to make a german chocolate cake the other day. I didn't taste any because it was for someone, but half way through I almost gave up! Turned out okay looking at the end:

Thank you Stacy Vaughn for helping me save the cake via text messages!

How to end ummmmmm isn't this a cute outfit? My mom got me these socks to fold over boots. 

Yes that's a maternity sweater. Sue me okay? I like how it is long and hides my upper thighs! :-)

A moment of emotions 3.5 weeks later

Things have been kind of stagnant. Been seeing friends, working out (not back to my normal routine yet, but definitely getting back there), and cooking/baking. Watching the Bachelor, of course. Lots of recipes coming (turkey/quinoa meatloaf, chocolate banana "ice cream" smoothie, and more).

Before I post my normal happy, fun and boring pictures....
I have been wanting to write for about a week and just am not sure what to post. I have about 6 drafts (half are recipes half are miscarriage related). But I haven't brought myself to sit down and write them yet (beyond notes and the general subject). I'm someone who is very in touch with my emotions, but I've definitely been in "ignore emotions" mode for about a week.

I use this blog to write, stories about my friends, my hubby, education... I love to post recipes (and honestly sometimes I have to reference my own blog for a recipe! Ha!). I like to add humor etc. Tonight I just don't feel good. I have been very strong with the entire miscarriage, and it's weird to admit this, but I actually haven't cried since the d&c. Tonight I just feel like I want to sob but I feel kind of numb. I had a great day too, which is weird that I feel this way now. I know things always work out, but right now, it's just...blah. I try not to think too hard about getting pregnant again, but I can't help it. I want to, right away. Good thing Charlie is deployed, because I'm sure my body could use more healing, and I'm sure emotionally this is better. I let myself think that ("I want to get pregnant right away"), and then I worry - what if I don't get pregnant right away? I got pregnant after 2 months. The first month i was convinced I was infertile. What if it takes a long time this time? Can I handle month after month of negative pregnancy tests? Then, what if I do get pregnant? What if the same thing happens? How do I deal with that then? If I have two miscarriages in a row...UGH, cannot process.

I am not the person that can just "let things happen", like all those people that stopped birth control but weren't "trying" and then it happened. Never was never will be.

That's what I'm feeling, right now, this very moment. I'm sure in an hour, or by morning, or by the weekend, or next week, I'll be fine. And then not fine, and then fine again. And I know it's expected with the loss we went through, which is why I'm so glad I have this venue to write.

Ughhhhhhhh.

Okay, I can't have a post without pictures at all, so here are the three cutest bubbas ever. Fun stories ahead!

Mint Chip Chocolate Peppermint Cookies

I've posted about reverse chocolate chip cookies that I made. Well, around November or December I bought peppermint extract for a recipe that failed, and decided I needed to put it to use.

Then, around the same time, our best friends in Israel asked us for some mint chips. My dad was going to Israel and we always bring them tons of stuff from the US. Their daughter, Moran, and I were born one month apart, and both our parents were Israelis living in the states. She was one of my bridesmaids. here she is on the left at my shower with Eden:

and here she is getting ready for the wedding:

Okay tangent aside. Actually wait. I realized that I was out of the daily blogging habit during all the wedding events and realized I owe all of you some catchup posts. Look forward to posts such as creative ideas, emergency lists, how to keep yourself organized, etc.

Tangent aside for real - back to COOKIES! Well, this last visit, they asked for 6 bags of mint chips. No problem I thought, I've used those before!

Well, for some reason, I couldn't find mint chips at Vons (safeway), Smith's, Fresh and Easy, Whole Foods, or Trader Jos. Since Charlie I are amazon prime members, I bought about a dozen bags of these and they delivered 1-2 days later. 

With this begin said, this recipe calls for these. So go buy some of these, and while you're at it, order some cinnamon ones too! I like the guittard brand - a bag of 6 on amazon is under $20.

So with about 6 bags leftover, I had to use these chips, and my peppermint extract. And here go some yummy, chocolaty, minty cookies!

Ingredients:

-1 bag of mint chips (you can vary amount)

-1/4 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder (I use hershey's)

-1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract (it's strong, a little goes a long way)

-2 sticks butter

-1 cup brown sugar

-1/2 cup white sugar

-1 egg

-1 tablespoon of milk

-1 teaspoon of salt

-1 teaspoon of baking soda

-2 1/4 cups of bread four

I made these during a cookie baking spree with some other cookies, so here are the ingredients exclusively for this recipe:

Instructions:

1. Cream butter, sugars, and cocoa powder in a mixer on low. Add peppermint extract, egg and milk and stir to combine.

2. Mix salt, soda, and flour together, and add in batches and mix until just combined. 

3. Add mint chips and stir with a metal spoon to combine.

4. Using a size 40 scoop, scoop into mini muffin tin sheets, and refrigerate them.

5. After they have been refrigerated for 1 hour at the least (a few hours or overnight is better, but cover with tinfoil), bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. You can bake them in the mini muffin sheets, or take them out onto cookie sheets. They hold their form well, so if you want them to be more cookie shaped, use a greased fork to press them down.

Here is how they look when they were baked in the mini muffin sheets:

Here is from a cookie sheet:

And here is when I have them as a midnight snack!!

PS - I am writing this from my bedroom and two of the dogs were cuddling with me. When I looked back, it was teeny little Lee and Maya, not Odge and Maya! I feel a bit betrayed by Odge, but am so weirded out that it's Lee! He never cuddles - he always "guards" the house from the couch looking out the window, right outside my room. Maybe Odge bleached his hair white? Weird.

Shabbat Shalom, ya'll!